Angel Eyes
by PrettyLilLadyWithSwollenEyes
Summary: Dean Winchester is one of the hottest bachelors in town. Castiel Novak is the sexy newbie at the company Dean works for. A few days after a hot and steamy one night stand, the two discover that Castiel will be Dean's assistant. Cas now knows who Dean really is. After a tense reunion, will Cas still manage to break every rule Dean has about relationships? Supernatural AU, all human.
1. Something About You

**Don't own. Supernatural AU. Destiel. Also posted on my ao3 account under the penname Des_Troya.**

**Full Summary: Dean Winchester is one of the hottest bachelors in Kansas City. He works for a big company that produces one of the most wanted guns in the military bases. He's very high up because his dad created the company with Bobby Singer. All the girls want him, but none of them can have him, because guess what? He's gay, and he only does one night stands.**

**Castiel Novak is the sexy newbie training to become Dean Winchester's assistant, but he's unaware who he'll be an assistant for at the time. He just got out of a very shitty relationship, but when he meets Dean Winchester at a bar one night after Dean rescues him from said shitty ex boyfriend, he's immediately attracted to the gorgeous older man.**

**After a hot and steamy one night stand, the two meet again five days later when Dean learns that Castiel is his new assistant. Will Castiel manage to break every rule Dean has ever had about relationships?**

Dean Winchester glanced up from his desk when a knock came on his door. Not bothering to get up, he continued typing away at his laptop and called out that the person on the other side could come in.

"Sir, we found you a new assistant." An employee he couldn't remember the name of stood in the doorway.

"Great, who is it?" Dean didn't glance up from his work.

"Castiel Novak." Dean's head snapped up. Standing beside the employee stood his lover from a few nights ago. Swallowing quickly, he stood up.

"Pleasure to meet you," he came around the desk to shake Castiel's hand, trying to keep his face composed and professional. Recognition flashed in Castiel's eyes.

"Likewise, Mr. Winchester," Castiel said cooly, shaking his hand. Dean tried not to smirk, knowing damn well that Castiel was playing the game as well. The other employee left, leaving them alone.

"Didn't expect to see you again, Mr. Winchester," Castiel said, crossing his arms and leaning against the door after it was closed.

"I'm well aware, Mr. Novak," Dean answered just as cold, "If I was aware you worked here, I never would have encountered you. It was very unprofessional of me. My apologies,"

"Shove your apologies up your ass, Mr. Winchester. We both know that you don't regret what happened a few nights ago, and neither do I." Dean held back a smirk. This is why he had been attracted to Castiel in the first place; so much sass and fire in his veins.

"You're correct, I do not regret a thing."

-Five days before-

Dean followed his brother into some bar, not really caring about the reason Sam had drug him out on the town. He just wanted a drink after a long ass day at work. Sam seated them in a booth, then went off to call his girlfriend to tell her where he was and that he'd be home later than usual. Leaning back, Dean spotted a small, but really, really sexy guy fighting off a much larger man who was not so sexy. Getting up, he walked over toward the two, ready to step in and help. Dean didn't care about many people, but he wasn't about to let a big ass dickhead beat the shit out of a small little thing like this guy.

"I thought I told you to leave me the fuck alone," he heard the smaller man say, who had his arms crossed and was glaring up at the taller man.

"You did, but I wasn't listening," the bigger man smirked.

"Well guess what, buddy, leave me the fuck alone. We've been done for months now. Can't you take a fucking hint?"

"You love me, Cas, baby. You know you love me," the larger man purred.

"Lucifer, I thought I told you to leave me the fuck alone. I don't love you. I love many things, like bees and good alcohol, but I do not love you," Cas responded. Lucifer, strange name, Dean thought, growled in response.

"You love me."

"No, I liked the sex, but that wasn't very good either, honestly," Cas shrugged, clearly not afraid. Dean had to talk to this guy. Lucifer's fist shot out, but Dean grabbed it before it could connect with Cas's face.

"Hey, he said to leave him alone," Dean said, holding the guys wrist.

"This is none of your business," Lucifer hissed, "why don't you take your fancy ass back over to your table."

"You really shouldn't of said that," Dean said, before shoving him back onto the pool table. He heard Cas give a frightened squeak, and he cursed mentally. Hopefully Cas hadn't actually been planning on getting back together with this guy. The bouncers showed up, and thankfully the bartender had seen what happened and Cas and Dean were set free. Lucifer was escorted out, and Dean turned to Cas.

"Please tell me you aren't upset over me shoving that asshole,"

"I..I'm not. Just… fuck, I thought he was going to kill me," Cas gasped, sinking down into a chair. Dean grabbed him a glass of water from the bar, and handed it to him.

"Thanks," Cas murmured before taking a big gulp.

"No problem," Dean murmured back. Sam walked over to them.

"There you are! Christ, I leave for five minutes and already you got into a bar fight," Sam teased lightly.

"Hey now, I wasn't going to let bitchface beat up Cas. It is Cas, right? Or did I hear him wrong?"

"Castiel, actually, Castiel Novak. Cas is okay, I guess," Cas answered weakly.

"I'm Dean Winchester. This is my little brother, Sam," Dean gestured at Sam, "but you can call him Sammy, he hates that." Dean smirked when Sam punched him in the shoulder. Cas giggled a little, still sounding nervous.

"I actually can't stay, Dean. Something with a baby appointment that I forgot about, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Sam said, clapping Dean on the back.

"Oh, alright, tell Jess I said hey."

"Will do," Sam smiled, waved at Cas, then left.

"So, Cas, fancy joining me for some food and drinking,"

"It's not like I have anywhere else to be."

~X.x.X~

So they sat, for hours. Starting out on opposite sides of the booth, then ending up sharing a bench. Cas asked if he had a girlfriend like Sam, which made Dean burst out laughing. Cas was confused until Dean informed him that he played for the other team, and Cas looked…relieved? Dean didn't question it. Cas mentioned that as soon as his training was done in a few days he was becoming an assistant to a guy really high up in some company. Dean listened, and when Castiel asked, told him that he was high up in a company, but didn't give the company name. Usually when he gave the company name, the person he was trying to take home either was repulsed or wanted more to get money. Cas didn't push it.

A lot of drinks later, Dean couldn't help himself when his mouth attached to the smaller man's. Castiel didn't push him away either. He actually seemed rather eager. Dean's hands grabbed his waist, and Cas's wound in his hair. Dean wasn't much for kisses, but after watching that perfect mouth form words for hours, he had to feel it against his. Cas's eager noises made him want him even more, and before Dean knew it they were in the impala, then stumbling through Dean's apartment door.

They fumbled with each other's clothes, then Dean through Cas on the bed and crawled between his legs. Cas kissed at Dean's neck, his hands slipping down his back to grab his ass. Dean hissed into Cas's mouth.

"God, you're gorgeous," Dean gasped, hands moving to slip Castiel's boxers down his legs.

"Thanks," Cas gasped back, arching into his touch. As soon as Castiel had Dean out of his clothes, they became a mess of tangled limbs and hot kisses.

Dean prepped Cas quickly, but thoroughly, before pushing in, smashing his mouth to Cas's. Castiel let out a low moan, clutching at Dean's shoulders.

"Been awhile?" Dean breathed in his ear. Cas nodded, laughing breathlessly.

"Yeah, fuck," he moaned as Dean picked up his pace, kissing at his neck. Cas was lifting his hips to meet Dean's, trying to match Dean's pace.

"Mm, fuck, Cas," Dean groaned, biting at Cas's neck. He smirked when a slightly higher pitched moan came from the man beneath him.

"Close, I'm so…" Cas's face was flushed, and Dean's probably wasn't much better.

"Me too, fuck, Cas…"

"Dean," it came out of Cas like a strangled cry, and then he went limp beneath him. Dean finished a few seconds after. Dean rolled off of him, and then Cas was molding their lips together again. Dean's hands slid down his sides, and he rest one hand on Cas's hip while the other held his face. Cas's arms wrapped around Dean's neck, and before Dean knew what was happening, Castiel was lowering himself onto Dean's cock, and Dean was thrusting upward and Cas was slamming his hips down. It was a blur of kisses and Cas's beautiful eyes locked on his. Dean knew he was loud, but he couldn't help it, couldn't control it. Cas was so perfect, and Dean knew he couldn't have him, couldn't break his rule.

And after they finished and curled up around each other, Dean tried to pretend that he didn't have to stick to his rules.

-Present Day-

Dean shook himself, and noticed the Cas had been trying to gain his attention.

"Sorry, I…zoning. It happens," Dean shrugged, playing it off. Castiel narrowed his eyes, but didn't push it.

"Where will I be working, Mr. Winchester?" he questioned. Dean led him to the desk on the other side of the room.

"Guess this isn't just my office anymore," Dean tried to joke. Castiel narrowed his eyes.

"No, and I expect to not have to walk in here and see you fucking some guy over your desk. Especially since that'd be rather awkward, and this is my office now too," Castiel turned his back on Dean, sitting his armload of folders down. Dean bit back a smirk, wondering what made Cas think that he could tell Dean what to do, but he let it slide. He was too busy looking at that perfect ass to care.


	2. It's Not What You Said

Things were fine at first; tense, but slowly getting better. They worked well together, easily forming a pattern, a routine. Dean would bring coffee in the mornings, Castiel would go on a lunch run. If they had to stay late, they'd take turns making snack and coffee runs. They might have even become friends sooner if Dean hadn't fucked up.

He hadn't really thought about it when a different cute little newbie came in and was fawning over him. He'd let him follow him to his office, and when the door shut, the newbie was kissing him. Dean lost himself for a minute, not thinking, responding with eagerness. He hadn't done anything with anybody since his one night stand with Cas, and that was two weeks ago. He hadn't planned on Cas coming in. Hell, he hadn't even planned on this happening.

Castiel came in, not looking up, talking about a meeting Dean had to go to in an hour. When Dean didn't answer and he heard the low moan from the man Dean was kissing, his clipboard slipped from his hands, along with the pile of folders beneath it.

"What the hell? I thought I told you I didn't want to walk in and see this!" Cas yelled when the two ripped apart.

"Cas, I'm sorry, it just happened and things-"

"Shut the fuck up, Dean," Castiel hissed, turning and storming off. Dean threw himself down in his chair, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"You should go," Dean finally said. The newbie ran off, his face red with embarrassment. Dean leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and putting his face in his hands. He probably should go after him, but he'd seen Castiel pissed at another co-worker before and Dean really didn't want to face Cas's wrath.

But he couldn't leave things like this.

He slowly got up from the chair, and headed in the direction Castiel went. He was standing by one of the windows on the other side of the building, glaring out into the distance when Dean found him.

"Cas…I'm sorry. It got out of control," Dean tried, putting a hand on Cas's arm. Castiel shook him off.

"Save it, okay? I get it. You do what you want. You have no respect for others, no regard for other people's feelings. All you care about is yourself, Dean Winchester. When I found out who you were, I hoped the rumors weren't true. I gave you a chance, choosing not to believe what I'd heard from other people. At first I thought they were wrong, that you weren't how they said you were, but… I was wrong. I was fucking wrong, and I think what hurts the most is that you are the complete opposite of the man I met in that bar. You're cruel, heartless, and cold. If I had the choice and if I didn't need the money, I wouldn't be working as your assistant. I'd rather be a fucking prostitute!" Castiel snarled before storming back off. Dean stared after him in shock. He followed him, anger fueling his steps.

"Cas! Castiel!" He yelled after him. Castiel turned long enough to give him the finger, before storming into Dean's office and slamming the door behind him. Dean yanked the door open, slammed it shut again, and then stormed over to him, pushing him against the wall and cornering him so he couldn't get away. Castiel looked at him with a fire in his eyes. Dean opened his mouth to yell, to fire insults back, to defend himself, but instead he smashed his mouth to Castiel's. Cas struggled for a second before he gave up and his hands twisted into Dean's hair. Dean's hands gripped and ran over him angrily, but not enough to hurt him. Cas responded with more enthusiasm than he intended, pressing back against him.

They kissed, angrily and full of hurt feelings. The anger turned to passion, and before they knew it, Cas was pushing Dean down into his chair and straddling his lap. Dean pressed his hips upward, and Cas pressed his ass against Dean's crotch, grinding and trying not to make a noise. Dean pulled away long enough to attach his lips to Cas's neck, biting and kissing at the skin, listening to the low gasps and whimpers coming from the other man.

Slowly they stilled, the grinding stopping, and Cas leaning his forehead against Dean's. Dean reached up, and shakily touched Castiel's cheek. Cas opened his eyes, panting softly, looking at Dean. The anger was still there, but it was dulled with something else that Dean couldn't quite put his finger on.

"I'd apologize for this part, but I'm not sorry," Dean whispered, "everything else though, I am sorry for that."

"I'm not sorry for this part, or what I said," Castiel said, getting off of Dean and looking away. Dean stood, looking at him in defeat.

"You have a meeting in ten minutes," Castiel finally muttered, "you might want to straighten your collar." Dean slowly reached up to fix it, but Cas beat him to it. He looked up at Dean, a strange sadness in his eyes. Dean reached to touch his elbow, but Castiel pulled away and looked at him one last time before fleeing the office. Dean's shoulders sank, and he sat down in Cas's chair, defeated.

~X.x.X~

"Sam…" Dean slowly said, playing with the bottle in front of him. Sam looked up from his phone, and tilted his head in question.

"I…you've come into my building before. When we had to do that case against the other company and Bobby hired you as a lawyer,"

"Yeah, what about it, Dean? Is there something wrong and the other company is trying to sue you guys again?"

"No! No… I was just wondering if you heard anything while you were working the case."

"Like…?"

Dean sighed, "About me." Recognition flashed in Sam's eyes, and he looked guiltily at the table.

"You did, didn't you? You didn't tell me?! Why wouldn't you tell me something like that, Sam?!" Dean shot to his feet, anger rising in him. Sam held his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, just… just calm down, okay? I did hear things, but, well, I didn't think it was important or true, so I didn't think there was any point in saying anything to you. It's not a big deal, just calm down. What happened? Did someone threaten you?"

"No, I have my assistant pissed as hell at me for rumors I didn't even know about, so how the fuck was I supposed to defend myself?! Tell me the fucking rumors."

"Well, the basics of sleeping around. Not caring about other people's emotions, only caring as long as you're satisfied and happy…"

"Okay, the sleeping around thing might be true, but I fucking care about other people's emotions, not just mine."

"Well, why is Castiel pissed at you?"

"…how do you know it's Cas?"

"Please, Uncle Bobby tells me everything, remember? It's not a secret."

"Whatever," Dean mumbled, before filling him in, leaving out the making out and grinding part.

"Well, honestly, don't take this the wrong way, but I kind of get why Cas would think you didn't care about his feelings."

"What?!"

"Well, he did ask you not to do things like that in the office since you two share it,"

"It's not like I planned it!" Dean threw his hands up, exasperated, "It just fucking happened, okay? It wasn't supposed to, and I wasn't thinking. When I tried to explain that to Castiel, well…he didn't exactly listen to me."

"Can you blame him?" Sam asked softly, flashing those big puppy eyes at Dean. Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I…no…" he finally admitted.

"Well, how are you going to get him un-mad?" Sam asked him, playing with his own bottle now.

"I have no idea."

"Well, maybe this will work…"

~X.x.X~

Dean came into the office early the next morning, and set a thing of coffee on Cas's desk along with some breakfast food from the coffee shop. He tidied up the office a bit before sitting in his chair at his desk and waiting on Cas to get there. His eyes slowly slipped shut, and he drifted in and out of consciousness until he fell into a restless sleep.

~X.x.X~

Cas walked in to find Dean sound asleep at his desk. His heart melted a little. He wasn't really mad at Dean, just hurt that Dean wouldn't remember their agreement. He wasn't even mad about Dean kissing him and what happened after that. Of course, who in their right mind would regret that? He didn't mean to hurt Dean's feelings, and he knew he had, but he was just so angry.

He sat his things down, smiling a little when he found the coffee and breakfast on his desk. The breakfast was new, but it was nice of Dean even though he knew Cas was pissed at him to bring it. He walked over to Dean, and slowly raised a hand to shake him awake. Dean jumped about three feet in the air, and Castiel couldn't help the small giggle that escaped his lips. Dean looked scared out of his mind, but relaxed for about half a second before tensing up again.

"Cas, about yesterday, I'm so-" Castiel held up a hand to stop him, and Dean's shoulders sank, a miserable expression crossing his face. Cas felt a stab of pain in his chest. How could he have accused Dean of not caring when clearly the idea of Cas mad at him hurt him so much? Cas lifted his chin so he could look at him.

"It's okay. I'm sorry, too," he murmured. Before he could move, Dean's arms were encircling him and his head was falling to Castiel's shoulder. Cas froze before returning the hug.

"I hate the idea of you being angry with me," Dean muttered against his shoulder. Castiel looked over at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Why's that?"

"You're the only one who's ever given me a chance to prove I'm not who everyone thinks I am," Dean finally answered, pulling back to look at him. Castiel's eyes widened for a second.

"I didn't mean what I said," Castiel said again.

"I know, but you were right about some things. I can be cold, cruel, and heartless, but Cas? For some reason I give a shit about what you think of me. I don't know why, I don't know how to explain it, but you're the only friend I've ever had besides Sammy, and well, he doesn't really count, but you get what I mean…" Dean was rambling, but Cas silenced him with a kiss. Dean made a surprised noise, but kissed him back.

"We have work to do," Cas murmured against his lips.

"Yeah," Dean nodded slowly.

"You know, whenever you need "assistance" I'd be happy to help," Castiel smirked at him. Dean looked at him in surprise.

"I am your assistant, remember?" The smirk never left Cas's lips, and when Dean figured out what he meant, he smirked too.

Then proceeded to kiss the hell out of his assistant before office hours began.


	3. Pretty Pathetic Show

Dean stormed into the office, anger radiating from his tense body. Castiel looked up from the pile of papers on his desk when the door slammed behind the angry man.

"I'm guessing the meeting didn't go to well?" Cas stood up, and walked over to him, taking some of the folders and papers from him.

"This day hasn't gone well," Dean said darkly. He slammed down the folders Cas didn't take on his own desk, and sank into the chair, closing his eyes and running his hands through his hair.

Castiel made sure the door was locked before going over to him and kneeling in front of him.

"Let me help…" Cas murmured, undoing Dean's belt.

"Y-You don't have to- oh…that feels really nice…" Dean moaned quietly, throwing his head back as Cas ran his tongue along the bulge in his pants, palming it with his hand while he did so.

"I know I don't. I want to," Cas murmured.

Castiel had just started blowing him, and it was really good when there were three sharp knocks on the door. Dean groaned, lightly pushing at Cas's head. Cas lifted his head, and helped fix Dean's pants before walking over to his desk to pop a mint in his mouth. More knocks followed before Dean could get to the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Dean called. He opened the door to reveal Sam, who looked stressed and tired.

"Sam? What's wrong?"

"Dad." Was all he got. Dean instantly paid more attention.

"What happened?"

"Bobby found him at the old house. Dead," Sam ran his hands through his hair.

"What?" Dean stared at him dumbly.

"Yeah."

"I...what killed him?"

"What do you think?" Sam made a face somewhere between a sad smile and a grimace. Dean sighed.

"Do we...do we have to go and...?" Dean trailed off.

"No, Bobby wants us to stay away. We just have to show up for the funeral."

"Okay..."

"Yeah... Bobby thought it'd be easier if...if I told you,"

"Yeah, listen, I'm probably gonna take off. I don't have any meetings left, and well...I'm sure Bobby will get it."

"Yeah. Call when you get home?"

"Of course, Sammy."

Cas stood frozen by his desk, looking at Dean with a stunned expression on his face. Dean shut the door, his eyes finding his.

"Cas," Dean finally forced out. Castiel's arms were around him in the next second, and Dean dropped his face into his shoulder, his body beginning to shake. Cas didn't say anything just ran his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean didn't speak either, and it was complete silence except for Dean's shakey breaths.

"Come on," Cas finally murmured, "let me take you home." Dean didn't bother to protest, just letting Castiel lead him out of the office and over to the elevators.

~X.x.X~

Dean didn't remember getting home, but he did remember Castiel speaking softly to Sam on the phone, reassuring him that Dean was home and safe and that Cas would stay with him for the night. Dean didn't move from the chair where Cas had sat him down.

"You don't have to stay," Dean murmured when Cas re-entered the room. He accepted the mug of coffee pushed into his hands, but he didn't really taste it when he took a sip.

"I know I don't, but you don't have to deal with this alone, Dean," Cas said softly. They sat in silence until Dean finished his coffee, and then Cas got him up and led him toward the bathroom.

"Strip," Castiel ordered softly, turning away from him to start the shower. Dean did as he was told, and Cas turned enough so Dean had privacy while he got in the shower. He heard Cas pick up the discarded clothing before the door clicked softly shut. Dean closed his eyes, and rested his forehead on the shower wall. He struggled to get his breathing under control. Why was he even upset? It wasn't as if John had ever been much of a father to either him or Sammy.

He heard the door open again, but only for a few seconds before it clicked shut again. Dean sighed, and made a grab for the shampoo bottle.

When he got out of the shower, clean pajamas and a pair of boxers were neatly folded on the counter for him. Dean didn't know whether to scoff or smile, so he settled for scoffing with a weak smile. He dried himself off and got dressed. He could smell toasted cheese when he stepped out of the bathroom. He cautiously made his way to the kitchen, where he found Cas standing at the stove in a pair of Dean's sweatpants and his undershirt.

"I borrowed these, I hope you don't mind," Castiel gestured at the sweatpants. Dean just shrugged, and stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Sit, it's almost ready," Cas ordered him gently. Dean sank into one of the chairs at the little table, still not saying a word. He only looked up from the wooden table when Cas placed a bowl of tomato soup and a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich on it in front of him.

"You didn't have much to work with, and well, it's one of those easy meals that always help no matter the situation,"

"You still don't have to do this," was all Dean said.

"I'm well aware I don't. Now eat," The order was gentle again, but firm, and Dean saw no other choice but to obey. Castiel sat down across from him, eating his own in silence. Dean had to admit that the company was nice, even if it wasn't necassary. Though, if it were Sammy or Bobby, they'd be trying to get him to talk. Ha. Not happening.

At least that's what he thought until later that night when he woke screaming from nightmares and didn't calm down for a half hour. Castiel had rushed into the room as soon as he heard the screams, his voice frantic in Dean's ear, but Dean could only grab at his arms and try to breathe. Castiel eventually settled for murmuring soothing words in his ear and playing with his hair, rocking him gently in his arms. Dean tried to control the sobs but found it impossible.

"I don't understand why I'm so upset," Dean tried to tell Cas, but he just got shushed and cuddled. He finally gave up on talking, realizing that Cas probably couldn't understand a word of what he was saying. He slowly got his breathing and the sobs under control, letting Cas soothe him and hug him. He also noticed how he himself clung to the man, but tried to convince himself it was because he was so upset and needed the reassurance that Cas was there.

"Stay," he finally whispered to Cas, clinging to the other man.

"I will," Cas promised softly, shifting them so they were both under the covers. Dean curled into him, watching Cas's eyelids flutter closed. Dean decided he'd talk to Cas in the morning, he was too tired right now. Cas had started to snore softly, and Dean noticed the exhaustion on his face. Instant guilt filled him for waking him, and those stupid tears began to fill his eyes again. He couldn't stop the sobs, and he felt Cas shift beneath him.

"Dean...? Wha's wrong...?" Cas murmured sleepily. Another strangled sobbing noise came from Dean, and Cas instantly became more alert.

"Hey, hey, shh...shh...what's wrong? Did you have another bad dream?"

"No..."

"Then what is it?" Cas was stroking his hair gently.

"You look so tired, and I woke you, and now I did it again!" Dean cried. Cas blinked in surprise, then cuddled Dean closer.

"Oh honey, it's alright. Your father just died, how could I blame you? You're my friend, Dean, probably my best friend, to be honest. I'm supposed to be there for you. You haven't done anything wrong, silly," Cas assured him. Dean felt a kiss on his forehead, and the blankets tucked around him.

"Go to sleep, Dean. I'm here, and if you need me it's completely okay to wake me. I promise." Dean looked up at him tiredly, tears still rolling down his face. Cas brushed them away with his thumb, kissing his nose.

"Don't cry, sweetheart, just go to sleep," Cas murmured. Dean pressed into his side, even though he was taller. He heard Cas begin to sing to him quietly, something Dean didn't recognize, but he liked it, whatever it was. He fell asleep right before the bridge.

~X.x.X~

Dean woke up pressed against Cas's back. He had no idea when they'd changed positions, but Dean's arm was wrapped snuggly around Cas, and Cas was curled up, sound asleep. Dean listened to the soft little snores falling from his lips for awhile before rolling onto his back. Cas whined quietly, reaching around for Dean. Dean heard himself chuckle a little, and he gently tugged Cas so he was snuggled into Dean's side. He turned his head toward the alarm clock, seeing that it was about eight in the morning. They were both late, and he scrambled for his cellphone. He sighed in relief when he read a text from Bobby saying that Dean had the next few days off to deal with things. Castiel was also off as long as Dean was because there was really no point in Castiel being at work if Dean wasn't going to be there. Dean texted back a thank you before snuggling into Castiel again. Castiel wasn't snoring anymore, but his lips were parted in such an adorable way that Dean sort of wanted to kiss him. That wasn't what Cas was there for though. Sighing, he curled close to Cas's warm body and shut his eyes, hoping to get a little more sleep before he had to have the conversation with Cas he dreaded, but knew, he needed to have.

~X.x.X~

Dean woke up alone, and nearly panicked, but Cas came back in with a steaming mug of coffee for him so Dean forgave him. Castiel still looked tired, but didn't say a word about it and Dean didn't push the issue.

"Cas...?" Dean finally broke the silence.

"Hm?"

"I...I need to tell you something. Well, talk about something," Dean squirmed. He was never good at this.

"Okay," Castiel sat on the bed in front of him.

"I...Okay, well, Sammy and I's mom died when we were little. I was four, Sammy was just...I think he was only a few months old. House fire. Dad got Sammy and I out but Mom didn't make it," Dean took a deep breath, "he...he got weird after she died. He left home a lot as soon as I was old enough to take care of Sammy on my own. Bobby tried to take us in as much as possible, but sometimes Dad just refused to let him. I tried to make Sammy's childhood as normal as possible. I made sure he ate enough every day and I made sure he got his homework done. I played with him as much as he wanted and I always, always tried to keep him happy. Dad eventually started the business with Bobby, and even though he was around more, it still felt like it was just me and Sam. He avoided us, in a way. We weren't really allowed to have any friends, but if Dad was going to be away for a good while, I'd let Sammy bring a friend home from school for a night or something."

Another breath. Castiel took ahold of his hand by this point.

"He drank a lot. It's what killed him," Dean laughed harshly, "I wanted so badly to be a mechanic when I grew up. Instead I got thrust into "the family business." I hated it. I still do, but I'm stuck now, and now that Dad's gone, I have to take over as part owner. My childhood was absolute shit. Sammy's wasn't much better, but he knew that I would take care of him and that I loved him, and somehow that was enough for him. I ran away when I was sixteen, and when I finally came home after about a week, I got the shit beat out of me. I remember hearing Sammy's joy when I came back, and as soon as Dad walked in that goddamn door... I don't remember any of it except for Sammy screaming at Dad to stop. After that, my Dad just walked out. I've barely spoken to him since then, the only time being when I was forced into this job at the age of 18. I put food on the table for Sam, I made sure he got all his schoolwork done, that he graduated. I didn't get to graduate high school, Cas. I had to quit so I could get food for Sam. We barely made it by. Bobby tried to help, but as soon as Dad found out he threw a royal ass fit and threatened Bobby. I still don't know all the details, but the company was almost put at risk."

"It was partially worth it, getting this goddamn job. I made a lot more money, and it was easier to get new clothes and food for Sam. That was all that mattered to me in the end. I paid for him to go to Stanford, and now he's one of the best lawyers in the country. That's the only thing that made any of this worth it. I don't understand why I'm so upset about him dying though. He was never much of a father after mom died, and he never gave a shit about Sammy. I think he blamed Sam because Mom died in Sammy's nursery. He drank too much and he was cruel and bitter. I just...Cas, I don't understand," Dean looked at him desprately, pretty much pleading for Cas to give him the answer.

"He was still your father, Dean. He may not have been much of one, but a small part of you still cared if he was alive or not. It's perfectly normal to hate someone but love them too, especially a parent,"

"But I don't want to care, Cas," Dean half whined. Cas shook his head at him a little, a little smile twisting at his lips.

"I know, Dean, but you do. Now what was this about you not allowed to have friends?"

"I wasn't crystal clear?" Dean said sarcastically. Cas glared at him in fake annoyance.

"I've never had a friend before, not until you. I don't know how to be a friend. I've only ever had Sammy."

"Never?"

"No. I've always taken care of Sammy. I've always been there for him, but nobody's done the same for me," Dean said numbly. Cas soundlessly pulled Dean into his arms.

"I'll take care of you. I'm here," Cas murmured into his hair, wiping away the tears Dean didn't know were falling. He really had to stop with this crying shit.

"I know, Cas. Thank you," Dean whispered back.

~X.x.X~

Dean stood beside Sam in silence at the funeral, Jess on Sam's other side. Castiel stood beside Dean. Dean didn't say a word the entire time, but when the box of John's ashes were lowered Dean's hand slipped into Cas's. Cas looked up to see silent tears rolling down Dean's face, but he didn't make any movements other than squeezing Dean's hand. Dean gently squeezed back.

"Will you stay again tonight?" Dean asked quietly once they were in the impala. Cas had stayed with Dean since he found out about John's death, making sure he ate and showered and talking him down after the panic attacks and nightmares.

"Of course," Cas said, reaching to take Dean's free hand. "do you mind if I grab some clothes from my apartment quick?"

"No," was all Dean said, and Cas quietly directed him. He quickly got some clothes, and returned to the impala within a few minutes.

And that night when the nightmares came back, Castiel held him until he could breathe again, and then held him until morning while they slept.


	4. Couldn't Think Of Lyrics To Use

Dean woke up to find his bed empty, but he could smell bacon and sausage coming from the kitchen. He walked out to the kitchen to find Cas at the stove, his back to him. He still had his shirt off and was wearing a borrowed pair of sweatpants that Dean was pretty much ready to let him keep because they looked really good on him. He wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing his nose into crook of Cas's neck.

"Good morning," Cas murmured. Dean grunted in response.

"Coffee's done, and this is almost done," Castiel gestured to the already finished sausage and the nearly done bacon. Dean moved to get them both coffee, and tried to ignore the urge to kiss Castiel. Cas turned away to grab plates, and as soon as the food was on the plate, he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

"Breakfast can wait," Dean growled in his ear, spinning him around and pressing him into the counter. Cas looked confused for about half a second before Dean's mouth was on his and he was eagerly responding. It started out rough, but got gentle, and Dean lifted Cas so he could wrap his legs around Dean's waist. Dean carried him toward the bedroom, never unattaching their lips. Cas's back hit the bed, and Dean kneeled between his legs, kissing down his neck, listening to the gorgeous moans falling from Cas's lips.

Dean was kissing him again, enjoying the feeling of Castiel's hands running through his hair. He desperately pulled Dean closer. Dean groaned into his mouth, and Cas arched his back when their still clothed crotches rubbed together. Suddenly, Dean was on his back, and Cas was slowly grinding against him. He moaned loudly before he could stop himself, pulling Cas's head down so he could kiss him. They moved together gently, and Dean realized he had never made out slowly with someone. He actually enjoyed it, and planned to do it more often. The clothes slowly came off, Cas ended up on his back again, and Dean came to his senses right as he finished prepping Castiel.

"Cas, I'm so sorry, this isn't what you're here for. I can't do this to you, I care too-" Cas shut him up by pressing his fingers to his lips.

"If you aren't inside me within the next fifteen seconds, I just might have to be angry at you." Dean obeyed, and pushed inside him. Cas's satisfied moan made him tremble, and he kissed him again, resting his weight on his elbows. He slowly began to thrust in and out of him, keeping the thrusts gentle. Cas moaned softly beneath him, and Dean couldn't help but kiss him again. Cas was lifting his hips to meet his within a few minutes, his arms wrapping around Dean's neck.

"That feels amazing, oh God..." Cas moaned, pressing his face against his shoulder.

"You feel so good, Cas," Dean breathed, "can't get enough of you."

"Mmm...don't stop, please don't stop," Cas moaned. Dean didn't speed up the pace until right before he came. Castiel tumbled over the edge at the same time as him, and they called out each other's names, kissing softly.

Dean rolled off him, but Cas was kissing him again as soon as he caught his breath. They ended up tangled on their sides, mouths moving together in perfect unison while their hands roamed all over the other's body. The making out turned into the occasional kiss, and then Cas's soft breathing filled the room, and Dean realized he was asleep. Pulling the blankets up over him after cleaning them both up, he went to get a shower. When he came back into the bedroom for clothes, Cas was sprawled on his back, his face shoved in Dean's pillow. Dean smiled, and realized he could get used to the view. Then shook himself.

Dean Winchester did not do relationships, but that wasn't stopping him from falling in love with Castiel Novak.

And that thought scared the living shit out of him.

~X.x.X~

Dean got busier as soon as he went back to work, but at least he had Castiel by his side. Becoming a partner in the company meant a pay raise, and there was no way in hell he was giving up his assistant, so he insisted that Castiel got a pay raise as well. Bobby happily complied, pretty much willing to do anything to keep Dean at least semi-satisfied. He knew damn well that none of this was what Dean wanted, but hadn't had much of a say in the matter.

Cas would surprise him with coffee throughout the day, and Dean would find himself kissing his cheek or brushing his lower back with his hand in response. He tried to stop himself from doing all of these things, really, he did, but Cas just made it impossible to think when he was around. Going back to work also meant Cas going back to his apartment, which both saddened Dean and relieved him.

On a better note, Cas now rode to work with Dean. He'd pick him up in the morning and drive him home at night. It wasn't like it was out of his way. Cas tried to fight him, but it proved to be a losing battle and he gave in pretty quickly when Dean used the kissing behind the ear trick.

So everything was good. Except for the nightmares, those still happened. Castiel knew to leave his phone on now because it would usually ring around two or three in the morning. Dean tried to call him as little as possible, but one night it all got to be too much.

It was a Friday, and Dean had dreamed about the house fire and his dad screaming at Sammy that it was all his fault. Dean tried to defend him, only to be told by John how pathetic and horrible he was. Then came the beating, then came his dad suddenly laughing hysterically before falling on the ground, stone cold dead. You don't really need all the details, trust me. Dean woke up screaming, that says enough all on it's own. It took him a few tries to hit the speed dial, and he gasped for air, listening to it ring.

"Dean?" Cas answered, still half asleep.

"Come over, please," Dean's voice broke. He heard Castiel curse and get out of bed.

"Okay, okay, hold on. Just let me get dressed, just hold on..." he heard Cas shuffling around. He stayed on the phone with him until there was a soft knock on the door. He left the bedroom, and opened the door, slumping into Cas's arms as soon as he was inside.

"Hey...come on, let's get you in bed," Cas murmured. Dean shook his head frantically, clinging to him.

"Okay, okay. What happened? You caught me right before I fell asleep."

"It's three in the morning, how were you just falling asleep?" Dean mumbled, trying to change the subject.

"I stayed late, remember? I didn't get home till two."

"Why?"

"I organized "his" office so you could move your things there," Cas reminded him.

"I would've helped you," Dean said sadly, remembering.

"Shh, you looked exhausted. Like I was going to keep you there when you needed the sleep."

"Yeah, and look how that went!" Dean snapped.

"Dean," Cas warned, but his voice was still pretty gentle. Dean sighed, and let Cas lead him to the couch. Cas set down beside him, and pulled him into his arms. They sat in silence for awhile, Cas's fingers gently running through his hair.

"Wanna talk?" Cas finally murmured. Dean shook his head.

"The really bad one?" Cas guessed. Dean nodded, confirming Cas's suspicions. Castie sighed quietly, and kissed his head.

"Maybe you need some sleeping pills. Not that I mind coming over or answering the phone, but you need a good night's sleep, Dean. Especially with your workload,"

"I've had worse," Dean muttered.

"My point still stands," Castiel stood, "look, I know you don't want to sleep, but maybe we could at least move to your room where it's more comfortable. My back is sore from those boxes."

"Okay, but this better not be a trick to get me to sleep," Dean warned. Cas rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to force you to go to sleep, Dean. I just want to stretch out a bit. Maybe we could watch a movie." Dean finally agreed, grumbling the entire time. Cas led him back to bed and removed his shirt before crawling in beside him. Dean found an old western on TV, and tried focusing on it. Cas kept an arm around him.

Dean was startled from his concentration by a sudden snore. Cas's head had fallen toward the side, his mouth hanging open adorably. Dean shifted, and while he tried really hard not to wake him, Cas jerked awake anyway.

"Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to doze off," Cas apologized over and over, and Dean finally hushed him and told him he could sleep if he wanted. Cas didn't go back to sleep though, and was awake when Dean woke up in the morning after passing out accidentally.

"Morning," Dean mumbled, stretching. Cas smiled tiredly at him, ruffling his hair.

"Morning," Cas responded softly.

"How'd you sleep?" Dean asked. A guilty expression crossed Cas's face.

"I didn't."

"What do you mean you didn't?"

"I...I didn't want you to have a nightmare and have me not wake up, so I just...stayed awake. Just in case,"

"Cas, you can't do that shit. You sleep even less than I do, especially with me keeping you awake so much... you're going to end up sick!"

"I'll be fine, Dean. Don't worry about me. Just give me some coffee and I'll be fine."

Cas was fine for most of the day, but at about four in the afternoon, the coughing started. Dean looked up from his book, startled. Cas scrambled for the bathroom, and Dean heard the awful gagging sounds. Dean sighed, shaking his head and walking toward the bathroom.

"I told you that you were gonna end up- oh, Cas..." Cas was shaking like a leaf, sweat pouring down his face. Dean flushed the toilet for him and slowly helped him to his bed.

"Just lay down. No, no don't get up. You need to sleep, come on..." Cas was fighting him, trying to get up, weakly telling him that he was fine.

"Shut up and lay down," Dean ordered. Cas slowly obeyed, and he tucked him in.

"I'll be right back, just relax," Dean said gently. Cas nodded a little before closing his eyes. When Dean returned with a glass of water and some medicine, Cas was asleep. It wasn't a good sleep, it was restless, but he was asleep nonetheless. Dean felt his head only to find it boiling. Dean had told him over and over that he was going to end up sick, but the stubborn little shit never listened. He left the medicine and water on the nightstand, and quietly left the room, shutting the door.

He read some more and watched a little TV, listening in case Cas needed him. He didn't hear anything out of him for a few hours, and he was about to doze off on the couch when a strangled sob from the bedroom caught his attention. He rushed in, worried that Cas had fallen out of the bed or was in some other form of pain. Instead he found him thrashing around, crying out in a mix of pain and sadness. Dean gently pinned his shoulders, trying to wake him.

"Cas, Cas, c'mon babe, wake up, it's alright..." Cas jerked awake, sitting up and nearly headbutting Dean. Dean gently pulled him into his arms, rocking him. Cas whimpered his name over and over, and Dean murmured reassurances until he quieted. The coughing started up again, and Dean barely helped him make it to the bathroom. He threw up twice before Dean managed to get him undressed and in the shower, and he had to help him out of the shower another three times so he could make it to the toilet. Dean dressed him in some of his clothes, and guided him back to bed after giving him a few minutes to see if he was done getting sick. He tucked him in and helped him drink a little of the water and get the medicine in his system.

"You need sleep, Cas," Dean murmured, tucking him in. Cas was shivering, weak, pained noises coming out of him.

"So d-do you..." his teeth were chattering.

"Let's focus on you first, okay? Where does it hurt?"

"Ev-Everywhere... Dean...!" Cas cried out again, his face twisting in pain.

"Shh...shh..." Dean rubbed his shoulder a little, trying to avoid doing anything that might hurt him, "Go to sleep, honey, just go to sleep."

"It hurts..." Cas whimpered, "it hurts so much..."

"I know...I'm sorry," he pressed a kiss to his sweaty forehead. Cas clung to his hand, and fell asleep with his cheek pressed into it. Dean sighed, and carefully moved his head to the pillow. Cas's breathing was a little shakey, but it was consistent so Dean knew he was okay. He sighed, going to get a shower. He blamed himself for Cas being exhausted, for him being sick. If he wasn't so weak... none of this would've happened. Then he stopped himself. Castiel would get pissed if he heard him thinking like that. He totally cared what Cas thought of him, he wasn't even going to bother denying that anymore. The loving him part...yeah, he was going to continue to deny that. Even though all the signs pointed to it being true.

He climbed into bed beside Cas after he got dressed, but used a spare blanket so he wouldn't accidentally take the blankets from Cas while he slept. Cas's breathing had evened out, and was a little stronger. He curved an arm around him, and kissed the back of his head.

"Night, Cas," he murmured. Soft breathing was the response he got. He curled close, snuggling in and shutting his eyes.

That night he slept free of nightmares.


	5. You're Fucking Mine

Castiel stayed with Dean until they went back to work on Monday, and then he went back to his own home that night, much to Dean's disappointment. Not that Castiel needed to know that. Dean didn't sleep great, but he forced himself to leave Castiel alone for at least one night.

He probably shouldn't have, because when Castiel came in the next day, he wasn't alone, and boy was he _pissed_.

"Remind me again why you just HAD to come to work with me, Gabriel?" Castiel hissed at the short man beside him, anger across his usually kind face. Dean watched in amusement and just a tiny bit of jealousy (okay, a lot,) as the smaller man hopped up on Cas's back to ruffle his hair.

"Cassie, I'm the best brother ever and you haven't seen me in four months! Why wouldn't you want to spend time with me?" The man fluttered his eyes at Castiel, and Castiel rolled his eyes before dropping him back on his feet.

"I could think of many reasons, Gabriel. Now I have to work, so could you please, please, not get me fired?"

"Listen, that was one time-"

"One time too many, you assbutt," Castiel growled, then noticed Dean. He brightened a little.

"Hello, Dean," he smiled at him. Dean grinned, feeling his heart pound.

"Hey, Cas." Castiel beamed, then turned and looked at his brother with a sour expression.

"This is my older brother, Gabriel. Shocking, I know. Gabriel, this is Dean Winchester. I'm his assistant," Castiel introduced them quickly, then hurried to his desk to sit down his bag and organize it a bit.

"Hey, Deano! Gabriel is too formal, how about you call me Gabe? I feel like I know you already, Cassie NEVER shuts up about you!" Gabriel excitedly shook Dean's hand before perching on Castiel's desk.

"Really? He never shuts up about me?" Dean smirked at Cas.

"Really! He always goes on and on about how he lo-"

"Gabriel!" Cas yelled, pure anger radiating from him. Dean would've laughed if he wasn't a tiny bit afraid. Gabriel gave a small squeak, shutting up instantly. Cas sighed, and pulled out his wallet and pulled out a few dollar bills.

"Go buy some candy or something," Cas shooed him out the door. Gabe brightened and skipped off, and Cas shut the door and locked it before leaning against it tiredly.

"Well, he's...something," Dean offered. Castiel chuckled dryly, and ran a hand through his hair.

"You don't know the half of it. I didn't get any sleep," Cas yawned, "he barged in at around eleven last night and scared the hell out of me. He kept me up all night complaining about his recent ex girlfriend who threw him out. Of course, instead of going to Michael or Balthy, he shows up- " he yawned again, "at my place."

"So it's probably a good thing I didn't call you last night?" Dean asked, guiding him to the couch they recently had put in the office. He sat down, and Cas lay with his head on Dean's lap.

"I wish you would've! Then I would've had an excuse to leave," he yawned, shutting his eyes. Then opened them again. "Not that I think of you as just an excuse, you really neeeded me, I meant-"

"Shh, I know what you meant. We're a half hour early, take a nap," Dean suggested, playing with his hair. Cas shut his eyes, snuggling close. He dropped off to sleep within a few minutes, his soft snores filling the silence. Dean played with his hair for awhile, before deciding to cover for him for a little while and let him sleep a bit longer. He covered him with his jacket before unlocking the door and sitting at Cas's desk. Gabriel reappeared, and was shockingly quiet as he sucked on a lollipop, curling up in a chair. He glanced at Castiel then back at Dean.

"Oops," he said softly, actually looking a little guilty. Dean chuckled quietly, unable to help himself from ruffling Gabe's hair. Gabriel squirmed and rolled his eyes, batting Dean's hands away.

"Don't do that, I don't even let Balthy do that!" he whined.

"Cas mentioned "Balthy," too. Who is he?" Dean asked curiously.

"Balthy? Oh! His full name is Balthazar. He's our older brother. Then there's Michael. He's the oldest. Cassie's the baby," Gabriel twirled the lollipop between his fingers.

"Oh, Cas mentioned them," Dean said, relieved.

"Yeah. Hey, is he still with that dickhead? Lucifer or whatever? He treated Cassie like shit, but stubborn as he is, he wouldn't leave the fucker," Gabriel made a face, which Dean tried not to laugh at.

"I took care of him."

"Oh, did you? Good! Maybe that's why Cassie talks about you so much."

"He talks about me a lot?"

"Mhm, never shuts up about you when he calls home sometimes. I mean, I get it. You saved him from the devil, literally. He abused Cas so bad. Michael tried to get him to report it, but he never did. Thanks for taking care of the problem when we couldn't, means a lot to both of us." Dean suddenly had an armful of Gabriel.

"Oh, uh, no problem," Dean said, patting him on the back awkwardly. Castiel began to stir on the couch, the falling papers and books from Gabriel practically tackling Dean waking him.

"Dean?" Cas said sleepily, sitting up a little. He noticed the time, and jerked awake, instantly more awake.

"Why didn't you wake me?" he was on his feet, frustration on his face. Dean couldn't decide if it worried him or if he just thought it was cute.

"Cas, you're fucking exhausted. You gotta sleep. Do you really want to re-do this weekend?" Dean reminded him. Cas sighed, and shook his head.

"If I promise to get a good night's sleep tonight, can I please get to work? I need the money, Dean," Cas pleaded. Dean rose an eyebrow, unaware of the money troubles, but didn't say a word.

"Okay. We can skip going out with Sammy tonight. We can reschedule," Dean rubbed his shoulder, and Cas nodded a little.

"Okay."

~X.x.X~

Dean was half asleep, sprawled out on his couch when there was a quiet knock at the door. He got up to look, and opened it to find a weary Castiel.

"Hello, Dean," he said tiredly. He had his workbag on his shoulder. Dean moved to let him in.

"What's up, Cas?"

"Gabriel brought a "friend" back to the apartment," Castiel made a face, "I couldn't sleep."

"Oh, you want to stay here?"

"If you wouldn't mind," Cas said quietly.

"Why would I mind, Cas? You practically live here anyway," Dean led him back to the bedroom, and helped him strip down.

"You want a shower first?" Dean asked softly. Castiel shook his head.

"Can get one in the morning," Cas mumbled, swaying on his feet a little. Dean helped him under the covers and tucked him in. Castiel was asleep in seconds, curling into the sheets. Dean returned to the couch to finish the episode of Dr. Sexy he was watching before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. When he entered his bedroom, he found Cas where he left him. He dropped the towel, thinking Cas was asleep, and it wouldn't matter if he wasn't anyway. He slid on a pair of boxers, and crawled into bed with Castiel after locking the apartment door and making sure everything was shut off. He wrapped both arms around Castiel, not expecting him to turn over and kiss him. Dean kissed him back, one hand moving to cup his face in his moaned a little, pressing against him, trying to push him onto his back.

"Whatcha doing, babe?" Dean murmured against his lips after Castiel managed to get his way. Cas rolled his hips, and Dean couldn't hold back the moan.

"Want you," Cas murmured back before kissing him hungrily. Dean pressed his hips upward, trying to create friction. Cas whined softly, pushing his hips down.

"Cas, Cas, Cas," Dean breathed over and over, moving to kiss Cas's neck.

"Dean, Dean, please, please, need...I...I need..." Castiel's voice broke, a low moan coming out of him. Dean reached blindly for the lube and a condom, and Castiel rolled the condom on him as soon as they were both out of their boxers. Dean coated his fingers, and slid one inside Castiel, then a second, then a third. As soon as he was ready, Castiel impatiently batted his hand away. Chuckling, Dean wiped his hand on the sheets before resting his hands on Castiel's thighs. Castiel bit his lip as he sank down, his lips parting in a satisfied moan. Dean pulled his knees up, bracing his feet up. Castiel took advantage of this, grabbing Dean's knees as he lifted himself up before slamming back down. Dean's eyes practically rolled back in his head, a loud moan escaping before he could control it.

Castiel giggled a little before rising up and slamming down again.

"Oh God, Cas. Jesus Christ, keeping doing that," Dean groaned. Castiel obeyed, whimpering and moaning the entire time.

"Fuck me back, dammit," Castiel finally growled, moving to rest his hands on Dean's shoulders so he could kiss him. Dean's hands slid to grab Cas's ass, and he used his position to his advantage, thrusting upward with his powerful hips. Castiel moaned loudly into his mouth before breaking the kiss.

"Fuck, Dean, just like that, fuck me just like that," Cas moaned, "Oh God, baby, I'm so..." Dean moved his hips faster, his hands roaming Castiel. Castiel's grip slipped from his knees and moved to his shoulders again.

"You gonna cum for me, Cas? Huh? You gonna cum for me?" Dean murmured in his ear, holding him close as he continued to pound into him.

"Yes, oh God, Dean..."

"Scream my name, Cas. Make sure everyone knows how good I am at fucking you," Dean growled, biting at his neck. Cas cried out his name.

"Because you're fucking _mine_," Dean roared, before slamming into him with one last thrust. Castiel screamed his name, louder than Dean thought he could, tumbling over the edge. Dean followed after, shouting Castiel's name. Cas collapsed on top of him, gasping for air. Dean carefully slid out of him before pulling him close, cleaning them up a little with the sheets. Cas's hot breath against his neck as he panted warmed him from the inside out.

"Holy shit," Castiel finally gasped out. Dean chuckled, pulling him close so they could cuddle.

"Mmhmm," Dean murmured into his hair, kissing his head.

"Best sex of my life," Castiel said after a few more minutes. Dean smiled, pleased.

"Agreed," he leaned down to kiss him. Castiel kissed him back, his arms curving around Dean's neck. They kissed softly for a few minutes, their lips moving together gently.

"Goodnight, Dean," Castiel murmured, before curling into his side and wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Goodnight, Castiel,"


	6. Just To Keep You Safe

Usually Dean would wake up screaming. Just a scream, nothing else. Until everything changed, and he woke up screaming for Castiel.

The first time it happened was a few nights after Cas started staying with him while Gabriel was in town. Dean had fallen asleep rather early, and it bit him in the ass. He couldn't remember the dream, but he knew he was screaming, and he knew it was a name coming out of his mouth instead of noise. Castiel shot up in bed, kneeling over him and trying to calm him.

"Dean, Dean, shh, I'm right here. Dean, I'm right here," Cas murmured, eventually pulling him into his arms so he could hold him. Dean tried to stop the frantic dry sobbing noises coming from his mouth, but it was no use. Castiel rocked him gently, hushing him and wiping away the tears that eventually flowed while Dean trembled in his arms.

"Go back to sleep, baby...it's alright," Cas kissed his head, and began to hum to him softly. Dean's eyelids fluttered, and he fought to stay awake.

"No, go to sleep. It's alright, I've got you," Castiel assured him, running his fingers through his hair. Dean shook his head, shivering. Castiel tucked the blankets around them, adjusting his hold.

"I'll go to sleep as soon as you do, I promise," Cas said. Dean finally nodded slowly, and curled into his embrace. He resumed humming, and Dean slipped back under.

~X.x.X~

"I thought you said that Castiel and Lucifer broke up," Gabriel said a few days later, his arms crossed as he leaned in the doorway. Castiel had gone off to make copies of something, leaving the two alone.

"They did?" Dean said, although it sounded more like a question.

"That's not what I saw last night."

"Last night? Cas was with Sam and I, it couldn't of been him,"

"No, it was after. Cas walked in and said he forgot to grab the mail. He was gone longer than he should've been, and when I stepped out of the apartment, I saw them making out against the wall," Gabriel said, his arms still crossed. Dean went rigid.

"That...that's not possible."

"It's what I saw," Gabriel shrugged.

"Why didn't you ask Cas about it?"

"Ask me what?" Castiel walked in with his papers, leaning up to brush his lips across Dean's cheek. He'd become more open about showing Dean affection in front of Gabe.

"Why are you still with Lucifer?" Dean asked, instead of returning the kiss. Castiel froze.

"I...Dean, I can explain-"

"I might not be into the whole relationship kind of thing, but I haven't been sleeping with anybody else either!" Dean pushed him away.

"Dean! Listen, please, you have to listen to me-"

"I don't have to listen to anything," Dean snarled, turning away from him. Castiel's broken expression turned to rage.

"I did it for you!" he yelled, "I did it to protect you!"

"Protect me from what?!" Dean yelled, "all you fucking did, Castiel, was make it so I don't fucking trust you! I thought...goddammit Cas, I haven't done anything with anybody else, only you! I fucking...I can't do this right now." He stormed from the office, Castiel trying to go after him. Gabriel blocked Castiel's path, and the last thing he heard before he turned the corner was the sound of Castiel bursting into tears.

It was a sound he would never forget.

~X.x.X~

Dean sat in the dark in his apartment, glaring at the wall. He ignored the timid knock on the door.

"Dean...Dean, please..." Castiel's voice was wrecked, and Dean knew he was crying. "Please let me in."

"Go away, Castiel," Dean yelled at the door. He heard the soft sniffles turn into sobs, and he heard someone sink against the door and slide down to the floor. Dean finally couldn't stand it, and opened the door. He wasn't expecting to see Castiel's face covered in blood.

"Oh God, oh God, Cas, what the hell?" he pulled Castiel into his arms and carried him into the apartment and lay him on the sofa. Cas wouldn't let go of him, sobbing into his shoulder. Dean slowly rubbed his back. He was still pissed as hell, but who would he be if he didn't comfort someone who had had the shit beat out of him?

"I...I tried to tell him that the deal was off and he..." Castiel fell into another sobbing fit, and Dean grabbed a tissue and started carefully wiping his face.

"What deal?"

"He... Dean, I didn't want to! I didn't want this!" Castiel started screaming.

"Cas, Cas! Cas! You gotta calm down, you gotta breathe. C'mon, baby, just breathe. It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you. It's alright..." Dean tried to calm him, petting his hair and kissing the top of his head. Cas's hands twisted into his shirt.

"He..he was going to hurt you! I couldn't...I didn't want him to hurt you," Cas moaned.

"Shh, shh, honey, we can talk in the morning, okay? Let's get you cleaned up," Dean said softly, helping him up and guiding him to the bathroom. He helped him undress and into the shower. He slowly got him cleaned up as best as he could, then set to work on putting sauve on his face and cleaning it up. He guided him to his room after, and tucked him into the bed. Castiel didn't stop crying the entire time, and clung to him after he was tucked in.

"Don't go, don't leave me," Castiel sobbed. Dean smoothed his hair and kissed his head. "Okay, okay, just let me change, yeah?" Castiel slowly let go of him, and Dean stayed in his line of sight while he stripped off his shirt and dress pants to slip on a pair of sweats. He crawled in beside him, and Castiel latched onto him, hiding his face in his shoulder. Dean started humming softly to him, which turned into soft singing.

"Carry on my wayward son...there'll be peace when you are done...lay your weary head to rest...don't you cry no more..."

~X.x.X~

Cas's terrified screams woke Dean a few hours later.

"Dean! Dean!" Castiel flailed in his arms, screaming for him. Dean shot up into a sitting position, and shook him lightly, calling his name. Castiel shot up with a terrified scream and clung to him, bursting into a fresh round of tears. Dean rocked him gentlly, rubbing his back.

"Dean..." he sobbed.

"Shh, I'm alright, I'm safe, you're safe. Everything is alright..." Dean murmured over and over. Castiel slowly quieted.

"I don't have any money..." Castiel finally whispered, "I can't...I can't afford to pay the rent anymore..."

"Why?" Dean asked softly, playing with his hair.

"He takes it all. He makes me give it to him," Castiel said hoarsely, "he said that I have to, or he'll kill you. He'll kill you and I can't..." Tears rolled slowly down his battered face.

"He won't touch me..."

"He will, Dean. He showed me. He grabbed me one night...we trailed you...he got so close, just feet away...he would've killed you. He said he'd leave you be if I got back with him, and if I gave him all my paychecks. That's the only reason I went back to him, Dean. I did it to keep you safe." Castiel whispered, tears rolling faster now.

"You hate me, and I deserve it, I know, but I did it for you. I did it to keep you safe."

"I don't hate you, Cas. You should've come to me. Sam could've..."

"I didn't think about that, Dean. All I could think of was keeping you safe...safe and happy..." Castiel's eyes were drooping.

"It's okay, Cas. I believe you. We'll handle it in the morning. Rest now, love," Dean murmured. Castiel slipped under, his grip going lax.

It took Dean a lot longer to fall asleep.

~X.x.X~

"Dean..." Cas whimpered, clinging to him. They sat across from Sam and the head of the Kansas City Police Department, Jody Mills.

"Shh, you're safe." Dean rubbed his shoulder gently.

"Can you tell us what's going on, Castiel?" Jody said gently, keeping her voice calm and soothing. Castiel repeated what he'd told Dean, often pausing when Dean had to get him through panic attacks. Jody took notes, and so did Sam, both keeping their voices gentle and as light as possible. When they finally got through it, Lucifer was brought into the room right as Dean and Castiel were leaving.

"You little BITCH!" Lucifer yelled at Castiel. Castiel shrank back, trying to escape. Lucifer ended up lunging at Dean instead. His head smashed into the floor, and his world went black to the sound of Castiel's screams.

~X.x.X~

Dean woke up to the sound of beeping, his vision blurred by the sudden flourescent light when he opened his eyes. He slowly moved his head to look around, but even the slow movement sent waves of pain through him. He groaned in frustration and pain, and suddenly Sam was hovering over him worriedly.

"Dean! You okay?" Sam asked, softening his voice when Dean winced.

"Head hurts."

"Yeah, that'll happen when it gets smashed off of cement," Sam said gently, trying to sound playful but just sounding concerned. Dean cracked a weak smile for his benefit anyway.

"Cas...he okay?" Dean breathed, squeezing his brother's hand when it found his.

"He's asleep right now," Sam gestured to a chair beside the bed, where Castiel was curled up in what looked like a very uncomfortable position, a blanket thrown over him.

"How did he...take it?"

"He attacked him, actually. Punched him as hard as he could. Knocked him out long enough for us to get him in a cell and handcuffed," Sam drew circles on the back of his hand. Dean blinked sleepily.

"I'm tired," he mumbled.

"Concussion will do that to you. Also, you're on some pretty strong medication right now."

"Must not be too strong, my head fuckin' hurts, Sammy," Dean groaned. Castiel stirred a little at the sound.

"Dean?" he murmured sleepily.

"Cas," he murmured back.

"Dean! Oh God!" Castiel clumsily got out of the chair and stumbled to his bedside, cradling his face in his hands. The coolness of Castiel's hands on his face felt amazing.

"Your hands feel amazing," Dean mumbled tiredly. Castiel choked on a weak laugh and kissed him softly.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered against Dean's lips, his hands gently holding his face. Dean chuckled weakly.

"It's going to take a bit more than that to get rid of me, Cas," he murmured back, kissing him as best as he could. Cas rested his forehead very gently against his for a few seconds before pulling back.

"How are you feeling?" he murmured.

"Like I hit my head off a cement floor," Dean smiled weakly. Castiel choked on another laugh and rolled his eyes.

"You're being a sassy little bitch, you're fine," Sam laughed. Dean smiled at him as best as he could without hurting his head.

"Got it backwards, jerk," Dean said softly. Sam's eyes brightened a little with a mix of tears and amusement.

"Whatever, go back to sleep," Sam finally said quietly, patting his hand.

"Kay...wait, Cas...I don't know what the song is you sing to me all the time but...could you sing it to me?"

"Of course, Dean," Castiel smiled at him. Dean smiled weakly back, laying his head on his shoulder.

"I'm an angel with a shotgun, I'll fight until the wars won...I don't care if heaven won't take me back. I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe. Don't you know you're everything I have..."

~X.x.X~

Dean was released from the hospital a few days later, and wasn't allowed to return to work for the rest of the week. Bobby kindly gave Castiel off as well, and Dean appreciated the help Castiel gave him when it came to doing little tasks that now made his head throb with pain. Castiel had been staying there a few days when Dean brought the subject of his apartment up again.

"How far behind are you on your rent?" he murmured, cuddled up into Castiel's side. They had been watching a marathon of Dr. Sexy at Dean's request.

"A few months," Castiel finally answered quietly.

"I can pay it for you," Dean murmured, about to approach a subject he wasn't sure would go over well.

"I couldn't let you, Dean. I could never ask that-"

"Let me finish, goofball," Dean chided gently, kissing his shoulder. "I'll pay your debt off, and you can move in here. You practically live here anyway. We can split the cost of this apartment. I mean...if you want to..."

"...you sure?" Castiel finally asked.

"I wouldn't of suggested it if I wasn't," Dean pointed out. Castiel chuckled a little.

"Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be okay," he gave in, "but at least let me pay you back."

"We'll see." Dean kissed his shoulder again, and Castiel lifted his chin to press a soft, but lingering kiss to his lips. They kissed softly for a few minutes, Dean's hands moving up to twist in Cas's hair.

"God, I want you so bad," Dean finally whispered against his lips. Castiel moaned in frustration, and kissed him again.

"I want you too, but you know we can't..." Cas whispered back before claiming his mouth again. Dean cautiously straddled his lap, Cas's hands gently holding his head.

"We can still do this," Dean breathed. Cas moaned in agreement, and kissed him again. They kissed until they ended up laying on their sides facing each other, and Dean fell asleep in Castiel's arms as soon as the pain meds he'd taken an hour earlier kicked in. Castiel looked down at the sleeping man in his arms, and sighed before kissing his temple.

"I am so in love with you, Dean Winchester," he whispered as he closed his eyes, knowing that Dean was too far under to hear. He fells asleep beside him to the sound of Dr. Sexy on the TV.


	7. You've Got This Power Over Me

"Dean?" Cas murmured sleepily, raising his head as Dean slipped out of bed. He'd lived there a month, but he still wasn't used to Dean's random roaming of the apartment in the middle of the night.

"Shh, go back to sleep..." Dean kissed his head, and tucked him back in.

"Can't sleep without you..." Cas whispered. Dean smiled despite the cheesy comment, and brushed his fingers across his cheek.

"I'm just getting a drink, I'll only be a minute," Dean murmured. He left the room, and found Cas waiting for him when he came back, sitting up. He still looked half asleep. Dean sipped the water, and offered the glass to him. Cas shook his head sleepily, and Dean set the glass on the nightstand before crawling into bed and opening his arms. Castiel instantly cuddled into him, shutting his eyes. His soft snores started up again within minutes, and Dean turned the TV on with the volume low to watch until he fell asleep.

-X.x.X-

When Dean awoke again a few hours later, the TV was still on and Cas was still asleep, but had rolled onto his side now. Dean rolled over to cuddle against his back, wrapping an arm around his waist. Cas mumbled a little, snuggling back into his warmth. Dean was dropping off into sleep when Castiel made a soft whimpering noise. His grip twisted in the sheets, and he turned against Dean, and loud whimper coming from deep in his throat.

"Hey, hey, Cas, shh, shh..." he ran his fingers through Cas's hair, trying to calm him. "It's alright, it's alright." Castiel jerked awake, and a weak sob came from him.

"Oh, honey...come here," Dean murmured, and began to rub his back, pulling him into his arms. Cas shoved his face into Dean's neck, trembling violently. His breathing slowly went steady again as Dean hummed to him softly.

"What's that song you always sing to me, Cas?" Dean asked, trying to distract him from the nightmare.

"Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab..." Castiel hiccuped.

"The Cab?"

"Mmm. Favorite band." Cas mumbled, face tucked into Dean's neck.

"Good to know." Dean kissed the top of his head, and started singing "Carry On My Wayward Son" like he always did when Cas had nightmares.

~X.x.X~

"So uh...you wanna go out tonight?" Dean asked shyly over breakfast the next morning. He was finally going to do it. Fuck his "I don't do relationships rule"; he wanted Castiel Novak, and he wanted him all to himself. He wanted everyone to know who he belonged to. He wanted to take him to company dinners and show him off on his arm. He wanted to tell him he loved him before bed and say it again when he woke up, along with every moment in between. Dean was so new to this feeling, and it scared the hell out of him. But he wanted this. He wanted Cas.

"With Sam?" Castiel asked, taking a bite of pancake.

"N-No. I mean, like...you...and me...alone," Dean tried again. Castiel rose an eyebrow.

"What?"

"God dammit, Cas! I mean a date! I want to take you on a date," Dean said, frustrated. Castiel was instantly alert.

"What's the catch?"

"What?" Now Dean was confused.

"The catch. Why are you taking me on a date?"

"...because I want to?" Dean wrinkled his nose in confusion. Castiel looked at him in disbelief.

"Look, I'm not going to lie anymore, Cas. I am in love with you, okay? I am in-fucking-love with you, and it scares the hell out of me, but I...I want it so badly. With you. I want that with you. I had the rule before because there was never anybody I wanted, you know? I never thought I'd find anybody, because I didn't feel like I was good enough to find someone. But now I'm being selfish, because Cas, I know I'm not good enough for you. I know that you deserve way better than me. But I want you. I want you all to myself. I've held these words back for so long, Cas. I just...I love you, Castiel Novak," Dean half stammered it, and Cas was open mouthed, frozen, and Dean was half afraid he was going to get punched in the face. Suddenly Castiel was in his lap, and kissing him. Dean kissed him back, a little confused but he wasn't going to complain.

"I love you too. Oh, Dean, I love you too," Cas said against his lips, his eyes shining. Dean pulled him in for a long, lingering kiss. Castiel's hands moved to his shirt to undo the buttons.

"Shouldn't we finish breakfast first?" Dean gasped, clearly not serious about the statement at all. Cas kissed at his neck.

"It can wait," Castiel growled under his breath. Dean was carrying him to the bedroom in the next second, and they fell in a heap on the bed, a tangle of limbs and kisses. Next thing Dean knew, all the clothes were off, and he was pushing into Castiel. Castiel's nails dug into his back and he moaned softly, biting at Dean's shoulder. Dean managed to keep the pace slow, but it was very difficult as he watched Castiel arch his back as his lips parted into loud moans.

"Fuck, Dean...I love you so much," Castiel gasped, pulling him in for a kiss. Dean shifted so his weight was on his elbows, and he deepened the kiss, rolling his hips in slow, gentle motions.

"I love you too," Dean murmured against his lips, moving to kiss his neck. Castiel groaned in his ear, arching into him.

"Dean...Dean..." Cas's moans rose in pitch as he got close. Dean nipped at his neck for a few minutes before lifting himself onto his hands so he could watch Castiel's face. Castiel was lifting his hips to meet his, his head thrown back in pure pleasure.

"Close?" Dean murmured, wincing as he heard his own moans and gasps. Cas whimpered and nodded, his hands grabbing at Dean's shoulders.

"Y-yeah...need you against me...please, Dean..." Cas tugged at him. Dean braced his weight on his elbows again, and kissed Castiel hungrily as they both got closer and closer to release.

"Dean!" Castiel cried, tumbling over the edge.

"Cas," Dean hissed, tumbling at the sight of Cas finishing. They trembled against each other, whispering each other's names as their lips met again and again.

"I love you..." Castiel murmured after they had caught their breath, curled up in each other's arms.

"I love you too."

~X.x.X~

"So where are we going?" Castiel asked, bouncing in the passenger seat. Dean chuckled at his enthusiasm, reaching over to hold his hand.

"It's a surprise. I think you'll like it." Dean watched for the sign, and turned into the arena. Castiel looked around, and when he saw the billboard with the name of the band playing, his eyes went wide.

"B-But, this show was sold out! How did you...?" Castiel was stammering. Dean grinned at him.

"I have my sources."

"You didn't have to do this, Dean," Castiel said, looking at him with big and innocent eyes. Dean found himself leaning over to kiss him.

"I'd do anything for you." Dean said softly, before pulling away to unbuckle his seatbelt. Castiel followed suit, and they headed toward the arena, hand in hand.

~X.x.X~

Somehow Cas managed to get them all the way to the barricade. Dean didn't mind at all, his hand resting lightly on Castiel's waist while he bounced in excitement. He found himself cheering along with Cas when the band came on. Castiel screamed along to every song, jumping up and down, begging Dean to join in between verses. Dean finally gave in, jumping with him.

"You've been a lovely crowd, and we hate to leave you, but this is our final song. It's a big favorite, it's called "Angel With A Shotgun,"" The lead singer said, before they launched into the song. Dean sang along to the parts he knew, and couldn't help but smile at the tears of happiness on Castiel's face. When the song was over and the band left the stage, Castiel turned to face him. He threw his arms around his neck, burying his face in his neck. Dean hugged him back, kissing his cheek.

"Thank you so much," Castiel whispered hoarsely.

"Like I said, I'd do anything for you," Dean murmured back. Castiel kissed him then, his hands moving to hold Dean's face while Dean's arms remained around his waist.

"I love you so much, Dean. You have no idea how good that feels to finally say," Castiel laughed breathlessly. Dean grinned at him.

"I love you too, Cas. I'm sorry I couldn't pull my head out of my ass," Dean tickled him, making him laugh.

"It's a very nice ass, so I think I can forgive you," Castiel tickled him back before kissing his cheek.

~X.x.X~

"I've got one more surprise for you," Dean said as he led him inside the apartment.

"What is it?" Cas asked, following. Dean moved to the stereo, and pressed play. An acoustic version of "Angel With A Shotgun" floated through the speakers. Dean held out a hand to him.

"Dance with me?" he bowed a little. Cas laughed breathlessly, and took his hand. They spun slowly around the room, kissing each other between parts of the song, and laughing quietly when they bumped into furniture. They ended up standing in the middle of the room holding onto each other when the song ended, not speaking, just holding onto each other.

"Well baby, you are all that I adore. If love is what you need, a soldier I will be..."


	8. Not My Daughter, You Bitch!

Cas was dozing with his head on Dean's chest when the phone rang. Dean reached for the phone as Cas sat up, looking at Dean sleepily. Dean kissed his nose before answering.

"Hello?"

"Dean!" Sam's voice came through the phone, bursting with excitement. Dean realized what was going on, starting to grin.

"Jess in labor?"

"Yeah, she started having contractions this morning. She's in right now having a c-section. Don't worry, the baby is fine, we just figured we'd do it this way."

"Want us to head down and wait with you?"

"If you wouldn't mind." Dean could feel Sam's happiness through the phone.

"Alright, give Cas a minute to wake up and we'll head out." Dean stood up from the couch.

"Alright, I'll meet you by the doors!" Sam hung up, and Dean turned to Cas.

"The baby is on the move," Dean grinned, helping Castiel to his feet. Castiel stretched, his shirt riding up over his hips to show a little belly. Dean ran his hands over the soft skin teasingly before pulling him in for a hug. Cas nuzzled his neck, returning the hug before pulling back for a kiss. Dean kissed him softly, before shooeing him toward the bedroom to change into jeans.

~X.x.X~

They met an excited Sam at the entrance, and he led them down the hall to the baby wing where he had been waiting for the doctor to come retrieve him. Dean curled around Cas on the couch, while Sam switched from bouncing around the room to sitting in one of the chairs.

Hours passed, and no word about Jess and the baby. Sam's excitement turned to nervousness, then worry. Finally, the doctor who had been in charge of the c-section walked into the room toward the little nurses station, a clipboard in his hands. Sam ran up to him.

"Is my wife- Jessica Winchester - doing okay? She went in for a c-section hours ago and I haven't heard anything. Can I see her?" Sam bit his lip, wringing his hands. The doctor looked up in surprise.

"I'm sorry, sir, but there is only one Jessica Winchester under my care and her husband, Sam, is already in the room." The doctor forced a pleasant smile on his face.

"...what? No- I'm her husband. Sam Winchester." Sam fished in his jeans pocket for his ID, which he handed to the doctor. The doctor looked at it, then up at him, a confused look on his face.

"Oh my, this does seem to be...a problem. Come with me...and bring your friends along, I guess." The doctor led them down the hallway and into a little recovery room. Jessica was beaming at a little bundle in her arms, and beside her, playing with the baby... sat Lucifer. Dean and Castiel froze in the doorway, and Sam gave Jess a bewildered expression full of hurt.

"Jess...? I...I don't..." Sam whispered. Jess looked up.

"..Sam. I can explain-"

"I think I've seen enough. Get your fucking hands off my daughter," Sam growled at Lucifer. Lucifer smirked, pulling his hands away from the baby. Tears streamed down Jess's face.

"Sam, please, I never meant for this to happen. I really-"

"Save it. Give her to me, if she's even mine," Sam said coldly. Jess handed over the baby, starting to sob quietly. Lucifer rubbed her shoulder.

"Don't worry, love. As soon as you feel better, we can leave just like we planned," he said soothingly. Jessica leaned into the touch, and Dean was repulsed.

"I don't care if you leave, Jessica, but you aren't taking my daughter. She's mine," Sam growled. Jessica nodded.

"Sam, please, just listen- I didn't mean to fall for him, it just-"

"Save it."

"Sam!"

"No. After what he did to my brother? To Cas?" Sam yelled. "Fuck, I can't even LOOK at you! You make me sick."

"He's sorry about that, he was angry and hurt-"

"Oh, that's his excuse?" Sam laughed coldly. "I'm done. Our daughter is mine. She's not going anywhere with you, you fucking bitch." Gabriel strolled into the room.

"Damn, that nurse almost didn't let me come back here. I had to say I was family. Where's the lil munchkin we've been- Lucifer," Gabriel hissed, placing himself between him and Sam.

"Oh, hello Gabe. Haven't seen you in a while," Lucifer said casually.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything but fall in love," Lucifer said innocently. Gabriel looked at Jess, and started to lunge. Dean and Castiel barely grabbed him in time, and Lucifer's laughter filled the room. Sam turned and fled, and Dean and Castiel forced Gabriel out of the room. Gabriel went after Sam after he calmed down, and Dean couldn't help but follow even though Castiel told him they should go wait in the waiting room. They found Sam standing by the window, looking out. Gabriel walked up to him.

"Sam..." Gabriel's voice was surprisingly gentle, a tone Castiel hadn't heard since he was sick, and he said as much to Dean in a whisper.

"What do I do, Gabe?" Sam's voice was broken. "I loved her. I don't know how to live without her. What do I do?"

"You move on," Gabriel said quietly, wrapping an arm around his waist. "It hurts like a bitch, I know, but sometimes... you just have to. Whether you like it or not."

"I can't do this on my own." Sam looked down at him, and in the dim lighting they could see the tears on his face. Gabriel reached up to brush them away with the back of his hand.

"I'll help you," Gabriel said, playing with the baby's feet. "I love babies."

"You'll stay with me there? You'd do that?"

"Of course." Words were left unsaid, but both Dean and Cas could hear the silent "anything for you."

Sam wrapped an arm around Gabriel's shoulder in a sort of hug, the best he could do with the baby in his arms. Gabriel returned it, careful of the baby. Dean and Castiel quietly noted that Sam didn't let go of Gabe after the hug, not even when Gabe took the baby to hold. They slipped away as quietly as they could, hoping they didn't disturb the sort-of-peace.

~X.x.X~

"Didn't know my brother and your brother were so close," Dean finally broke the silence on the way home.

"Sam has been keeping Gabriel company as much as he could since I left the apartment to Gabriel. I'm still not completely sure how he manages to pay for it, but obviously he's going to be staying with Sam now," was all Cas said. Dean shrugged.

"Gabriel's in love with my brother."

"Yes."

Dean finally sighed after a few minutes of silence. "Better than Lucifer being in love with him." Castiel couldn't help but chuckle even if he probably shouldn't have. Dean found his hand and held it in his.

"There's too much drama in this family," Dean muttered. Castiel laughed, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"You two will just never catch a break."

~X.x.X~

Dean got out of the shower to find Cas sound asleep at the kitchen table, his head on his arms. A plate with food for him was on the counter. Dean picked it up and set it at the table before gently shaking him awake.

"Cas, baby, go get cleaned up and go to bed, okay? You've been really tired lately, why don't you just go to sleep early?" Dean said soothingly, helping him to his feet.

"The nightmares won't leave me alone..." Cas murmured into his neck.

"I know, honey. Go shower, and then I'll come lay with you," Dean murmured, rubbing his back.

"Kay," Castiel mumbled, turning and heading toward the bathroom. Dean ate his dinner before cleaning up. A half hour later, the water was still running in the bathroom. Thinking Castiel might've fallen asleep in the shower, he opened the door to wake him.

"Cas?" he called softly. He heard him before he saw him.

"Cas!" Dean reached in to shut the shower off, which was only turned on to the cold water, and lifted Castiel out, wrapping him in towels. His sobs were muffled by Dean's shoulders, and he trembled with fear and cold in Dean's arms.

"Holy shit, Cas! What happened?" Dean check his arms for cuts, relieved when he found none. Castiel clung to him, whimpering and saying things that Dean couldn't understand.

"-fault!" Cas sobbed, his fingers twisted in Dean's shirt.

"What? Nothing's your fault, baby!" Dean said, carrying him toward the bedroom. Castiel refused to let Dean dress him, squirming and sobbing at his touch to his skin.

"We gotta get you warm, Cas. You're freezing," Dean pleaded. Castiel finally gave in, and Dean dressed him in pajamas before bundling the blankets around him and pulling him onto his lap. He rocked him slowly, murmuring soothing words to him.

"It's all my fault! If I had just...left and...gone with him...none of this...would..be..happening!" Castiel finally managed to say, shaking with cold and sobs.

"None of this is your fault, Cas. Don't you dare blame yourself for this."

"It is though, it is!" Cas moaned, clinging to him. "It's all my fault. I fucked up your family, Dean."

"No, you didn't. Don't talk like that. You haven't done anything but make me so, so happy. I've never been so happy in my life, Cas. Would you throw that away?" Dean asked him. Castiel shook his head, sniffling and hiccuping.

"Exactly. You aren't to blame for anything that's happened. Please don't think you are," Dean played with his hair and brushed his tears away. "Get some sleep, okay? I'll be right here, I'm not gonna go anywhere."

"P-Promise?"

"I promise. Well, I might get up to pee," Dean kissed his forehead. Castiel laughed weakly, but it mostly came out as a sob.

"Shh...shh..." Dean rocked him until he dozed off before tucking him in and crawling in beside him. He wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist, nuzzling the back of his neck. Castiel sighed and rolled over, an arm curving over Dean's chest, his head tucked under his neck. Dean hummed to him for a while before turning the TV on, and watching until he fell asleep himself.

He was woken a few hours later by Castiel shaking him awake.

"Wha..? Cas! What's wrong?" Dean sat up. Castiel was standing by the bed.

"Sam's here," he said quietly. Dean got out of bed, and brushed his lips across Castiel's cheek reassuringly.

"Is he alright?"

"I think he's drunk."

"Gabe with him?"

"No."

"Alright," Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. He walked out to find Sammy curled in a ball on the couch.

"Hey..." Dean sat beside him, patting his shoulder. Sam didn't look at him.

"Whatcha doing here? Where's Gabe and the little one?"

"Home," Sam muttered, hiding his face.

"Does he know you left?"

"Nope."

"Sam," Dean sighed, about to scold him. Sam rolled his eyes and held up a hand, stopping him before he could start.

"I know, Dean. I snuck out. Don't blame him," Sam said. At that moment, his cell started to ring. Sam looked at the caller ID, groaned, and shoved the phone at Dean. Dean looked at the screen. Gabriel. He sighed before answering.

"I got him," Dean said when he answered.

"Oh God, I fell asleep and when I woke up he was fucking gone! I looked everywhere, including outside." Gabriel's voice was wrecked.

"He showed up here. He's drunk, but he's in one piece," Dean reassured him. A relieved sob came through the phone.

"Oh God."

"Hey, calm down, Gabe. He easily could've snuck out if I were there. Everything's fine, it's not your fault."

"I promised I'd be here."

"Gabriel-"

"Dean, I promised I'd help him. I failed. He turned to booze and I fucking failed."

"You didn't fail anything, just breathe. Do you want me to put him on?"

"No, I...just send him home, please," Gabe was trying to keep it together and Dean was a bit impressed that he only broke in front of him a little. Not that he could blame him, he'd feel how Gabe did if roles were reversed.

"Of course. Want me and Cas to come over and stay? If you get him in the bedroom instead of the couch, he won't get past Cas and I if we take the couch."

"He won't go in there. I tried."

"He's pretty drunk, he'll go in there." Dean said, before saying goodbye and hanging up.

"Cas, pack a bag, we're going to take Sam home and stay there for the rest of the night," he called softly to him. Castiel obediently went into the bedroom to grab them each a change of clothes for the next day. Dean hauled Sam to his feet, who protested weakly, and after Castiel had a bag over his arm, they got him downstairs and into the Impala. He passed out halfway there, and Gabe stood in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

The three of them got him inside and back to the bedroom, and Dean and Cas headed out to set up camp in the living room. Raised voices floated down the hallway toward them.

"You can't fucking do that to me, Sam," Gabriel was saying.

"I can do whatever I- don't cry. Gabe, please don't cry." Sam was pleading now, all anger gone from his voice. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Sam, I didn't know where you were, or what happened. I didn't know anything. You scared the hell out of me,"

"I'm sorry, Gabe. Please don't cry, you're too perfect to cry." Sam said, his voice so innocent and full of concern now that Gabriel's display of emotion had gotten his attention.

"Don't say that, you don't mean it."

"Yes I do. Come here." They heard the squeak of the mattress and Gabriel sat beside him, then the rustling as Sam pulled him into his arms. They tried to ignore the muffled sobs and Sam's soft words of comfort.

"Please don't do that again," Gabe finally said quietly.

"I won't," Sam murmured back. They heard rustling again as Gabe went to get up.

"Don't leave me," Sam said hoarsely.

"I won't. Can I at least go check on Xhelia?"

"Yeah.." Gabriel walked out of Sam's room and into the other bedroom. They heard him change her diaper before singing her back to sleep and returning to Sam's room.

"You came back!" Sam sang happily.

"Oof!" They heard the bed creak. "Of course I came back. Go to sleep, Sam."

"Stay with me."

"I will."

They waited for about ten minutes before Dean snuck back the hallway. Sam had his arms and legs wrapped around Gabriel, his head shoved into his neck. Gabriel's head was turned away from Sam's and he was on his back, but he had an arm around Sam all the same. Both were asleep. Dean returned to the couch, and curled around Cas after Cas put the footrest out.

"Sweet dreams, Cas," Dean kissed the back of his neck. Castiel snuggled into him.

"Goodnight, Dean."

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	9. Save Me From The Dark

was startled awake at about five in the morning by loud screams from Sam's room. Castiel jerked against Dean, trying to sit up as Gabriel tried to wake Sam and sooth him. Dean hurried to Xhelia's room and scooped her up to quiet her. Sam's screams turned into low sobs, and Gabriel's quiet murmurs of reassurances filled the silence.

"Shh...shh..." Dean heard Gabriel whisper. Sam's sobs began to quiet.

"I'm so scared, Gabe...what if I mess it up?"

"Shh..."

"Gabe-"

"Shh...shh..." Gabriel started humming him quietly. Sam was still drunk enough that be didn't fight him much, and Dean heard his breathing even out.

He looked down at his niece who was gazing up at him with big blue eyes.

"You're a pretty little thing, but your names a mouthful. Gotta think of a way to shorten it," Dean informed her. Xhelia's response was to hiccup, and Dean snuggled her until she fell back asleep.

He found Castiel curled up in a ball, waiting for him. He settled into the space he'd been in before, wrapping both arms around Cas. Dean was about to drop back off to sleep when he heard quiet sniffling and the front door open and shut. He went to get up, but Cas stopped him with a shake of his head. They lay in silence, curled around each other with their hands linked until they both fell asleep.

-X.x.X-

They found Gabriel in the kitchen when they got up a few hours later. A forced smile was on his lips as he said good morning. Dean and Castiel murmured pleasantries in response before Gabriel set a mug of coffee in front of each of them. Dean pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's cheek when Gabriel turned his back to them, only to be chided, with a fake tone, regardless for "PDA."

Gabriel headed back to Sam's room to wake Sam. They tried not to eavesdrop as Sam quietly asked Gabriel if he was alright and Gabriel's soft answer of "not really, but please don't worry about me."

A few minutes later, both of them returned to the kitchen. Dean went straight to Sam, soundlessly wrapping both arms around him. Sam chuckled a little, returning the hug. Dean returned to Cas, and wound an arm around his waist, resting a hand on his hip. Cas returned the gesture, silently watching Sam and Gabriel interact with a sense of familiarity that made sense to them but no sense to Dean and Castiel. Sam wordlessly passed Gabe items before he requested them, and Gabe would brush a hand across Sam's back when he would pass him. If you didn't know any better, you'd think they were married and had been together forever.

After a sort-of-awkward breakfast, Sam requested that Dean and Cas take Xhelia and go grab some more baby formula and diapers just in case it snowed that night. Happy for the distraction, Dean got Xhelia ready to leave the house while Castiel moved the baby car seat to Dean's car. Sam kissed his daughter goodbye and then Dean carried her to the car to buckle her in.

"Babe, did you grab her baby bag?" Dean asked while Castiel tucked a blanket around her.

"Shit, no. Sorry baby, I'll go get it."

"Nah, I got it, babe," Dean kissed him before heading back into the house. He didn't see any sign of Gabriel or Sam as he went into Xhelia's room. He grabbed her baby bag and was about to leave when he heard a thump. He looked out the door in the direction the thump came from, and saw Sam's door open. Sam was kneeling over Gabriel on the bed, and his shirt was off. His mouth was molded to Gabriel's, and Gabriel's arms were around his neck and a hand was in his hair. Sam broke the kiss.

"We don't have to do this," Sam murmured against his lips. "I know you're trying to make me feel better, but we don't have to-" Gabriel silenced him with a kiss.

"I want to," Gabriel murmured against his lips. Sam kissed him, deeper this time, and Dean quickly evacuated the house with a disgusted look on his face.

Cas looked up when he climbed into the driver's side, tilting his head at the look on Dean's face.

"We probably should give them an hour," Dean said, running his hands over his face.

"What? Why?" Castiel asked, confusion in his voice. Dean peeked out from behind one hand at him, raising an eyebrow. Castiel started to crack up when it dawned on him exactly what Dean saw.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Castiel said, chuckling. Dean shoved his shoulder playfully.

"It was terrible!" Dean whined.

"I'm sorry, baby," Castiel laughed. He leaned over to kiss him, and Dean kissed him for a little longer before starting up the impala and driving away.

~X.x.X~

A week later, Castiel knocked on Sam's door, two takeout containers in his arms. Gabriel opened the door, grinning and stepping aside for him to come in.

"You brought Chinese!" Gabriel sang, the baby in his arms.

"I did," Castiel laughed, setting the containers on the table.

"Dean just picked up Sam a few minutes ago, but you probably knew that," Gabriel informed him.

"I did know that."

They sat down to eat after Gabriel fed Xhelia her bottle and lay her down in the pack in play. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Cas broke the silence.

"So, ah, last week when we took Xhelia with us for baby supplies, Dean forgot the baby bag, and uhm," Castiel blushed, "he, uhm, saw you and, uh, Sam..."

"Oh! That. Heh. We didn't hear him come in. Uh," Gabe blushed a bit.

"Don't worry, he only saw you two making out with your shirts off, but we all know what that led to."

"Yeah. We, we, ah, haven't done it since then. I mean, he's kissed me and stuff, but we haven't...done that. He feels like he took advantage of me, when honestly I'm the one who should feel like I took advantage of him," Gabriel ran a hand through his hair.

"So he regrets it?"

"No! No, he doesn't regret it. He just...he wished when that happened the first time it would've been...different." Gabriel squirmed in his chair.

"Hm," was all Cas said, turning his attention back to his food. Gabriel sighed quietly in relief that the questioning was over, and finished his meal.

While they were cleaning up, Castiel suddenly turned to him and said, "Well? Is he a good kisser?" Gabriel did a double take, and Castiel's serious expression turned into a grin. Gabriel threw a dish towel at him before muttering a yes.

~X.x.X~

"Hey Sam," Gabriel beamed at him from the chair, Xhelia snuggled in his arms. Sam smiled down at them fondly, and shockingly pressed a soft kiss to Gabriel's lips in front of Dean and Castiel. Gabriel returned the kiss, smiling. Castiel turned away to kiss Dean. Dean smiled against his lips, kissing him back and pulling him close. Castiel hummed softly before pulling away.

"Have fun?" Castiel asked Dean, running his hands down his arms.

"Yeah, we got burgers. I missed you though," Dean said, kissing his cheek.

"I missed you too," Castiel said simply, smiling up at him. Sam had taken Xhelia from Gabriel, pressing kisses to her little face. Xhelia grabbed at his nose, and Sam laughed whenever she would catch a hold of it.

Gabriel grinned widely at them both, and Castiel wished he could take a picture of the moment. Sam looked at Gabriel, a mix of adoration and caution on his face. Gabriel brushed his fingers down his cheek before turning and heading toward the bathroom.

"We're gonna head out. Night Sammy," Dean said. Castiel called a goodnight to Gabriel before they headed out to the car.

"So fill me in on what you found out so I can fill you in on what I found out," Dean said as soon as they were in the car. Castiel laughed, and told him what he was told.


	10. I'm Barely Breathing

(Two months later)

"Hey Cas, do you think you could come over and watch Xhelia so Gabriel can get some sleep? A client called me about their case and I have to go meet them in ten minutes," Sam said into the phone, giving Gabriel a worried glance. Gabriel's eyes were blank as he soundlessly fed Xhelia her bottle.

"Yeah, of course. I'll see you soon." Castiel hung up.

Sam knelt at the table in front of him, and took his hand.

"Cas is coming over so you can get some sleep," Sam said gently. Gabriel didn't say anything, but his eyes briefly met Sam's. Sam reached up to brush his fingers across Gabe's cheekbone. Gabriel flinched away.

"What's wrong? Why don't you want me to touch you?" Sam asked softly, unable to keep the hurt out of his tone.

"We both know that you don't mean it," Gabriel said, so softly that Sam almost didn't hear him.

"Gabe... Don't do this. You know what kind of situation we're in-"

"Please. Please don't touch me," Gabriel flinched away again. "It hurts more when I have to pretend you care at all."

Sam backed away from him right as the doorbell rang.

As soon as Sam left, Gabriel allowed Castiel to guide him from the table to Sam's room. Gabriel almost refused, but suddenly he was overcome with so much sadness and exhaustion that he couldn't make himself argue. He allowed Cas to tuck him into the bed, and waited until Cas left the room before allowing himself to break.

Castiel chose to pretend that he couldn't hear the muffled sobs coming from Sam's room. Instead, he played with Xhelia until she fell asleep in her pack and play, and tidied up around the house. He waited an hour or so before looking in on Gabriel. He was curled in a ball, his fingers clenched in the sheets, but he was asleep nonetheless. Castiel tucked another blanket around him, resulting in Gabe latching onto him for a minute or two, sobbing dryly.

"Shh...shh..." Castiel murmured, smoothing his hair. Gabriel slowly released him, mumbling for Sam.

"Sam'll be back soon, Gabe. Promise," Castiel assured him. Gabriel made another sobbing noise, and anger rose in Castiel's chest. He had never, ever seen his brother like this. Gabriel rarely showed any of this type of emotion. Castiel was ready to kill.

"Go back to sleep, shh..." Castiel sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes before Gabriel slipped back into sleep.

Castiel was sitting in the chair reading a book, Xhelia's pack and play in front of the chair so he could watch her. Sam quietly entered the house.

"Is Gabriel asleep?" Sam asked softly, taking off his shoes and jacket.

"Yes, but don't you dare go back there yet. I need to speak with you." Sam cringed, and hesitantly sat down beside him.

"Let me guess, it's about how you think I'm treating your brother like shit, correct?"

"You learn quickly. What have you done to my brother?"

"Nothing, honest. He started acting weird when we got up this morning. Before I left, he told me that I don't mean any of the touches, and that it hurts him more when he pretends I do. I DO mean those, Cas. I mean every bit of it. It's just so hard because Jessica and I's divorce still isn't finalized and we're moving so fast...I care so much, I honestly do, but we need to slow down. I love to hold him and kiss him, and whenever he wants a little more I happily comply, but in public...I feel like a whore for letting him touch me in public," he said in a small voice. Castiel instantly understood. He had felt that way at first after he and Dean launched into a long term sexual relationship just days after his break up with Lucifer. It had taken months before he was okay with Dean kissing him outside of their shared office, and now that they were officially together it obviously didn't matter anymore.

"Did you tell him this?"

"I tried to, but he...he got upset. I already knew he hadn't been sleeping that great because of his insistence on getting up every time Xhelia cries so I can get enough sleep to leave early in the morning, but I didn't really...I wasn't expecting him to start to cry when we got out of bed this morning, and then suddenly shut me out. It all happened unexpectedly. I had no idea he was even worried or upset about it. He didn't tell me," Sam said, clearly stressed and frustrated, "Castiel, do you really think I could ever willingly hurt your brother? He's been my rock through all of this, not only a lover. He's my best friend," a small smile was on his face, "I care about him a lot, trust me on that."

"I do." Castiel said simply, "he was asking for you earlier. I'll let you go back there now."

Sam got to his feet to turn, but froze.

"Gabriel."

"Why didn't you tell me all of that?" Gabriel asked quietly.

"You didn't let me!" Sam cried, frustrated again.

"You didn't try!" Gabriel yelled.

"I didn't know that you thought I meant to fucking hurt you!" Sam threw his hands in the air.

"I didn't know that you thought of yourself as a whore!" Gabriel shot back.

"You didn't ask!" Sam snapped. Gabriel glared, his eyes bright.

"Really showing how much you care about me, Sam." Gabriel turned to storm away, but Sam was faster, pushing him into the wall.

"Don't you dare say that! You...you know I do," Sam's shoulders slumped, and he hung his head. Gabriel was frozen, staring up at him with a mix of shock and fear.

"I..." Gabriel's voice cracked. Sam moved away from him, turning to walk away.

"Don't!" Gabriel cried, grabbing at Sam's hand. Sam pulled his hand away, and resumed walking. Gabriel kept trying to stop him, but it didn't work. Sam was halfway out the door when Gabriel finally broke. Castiel rushed to his brother, but Sam, once again, was faster. He pulled Gabriel into his arms, and held him tightly against him. Gabriel slumped against him, his breath coming out in quick gasps.

"Don't leave," Gabriel whispered.

"Never. I'll never leave you," Sam whispered back. Castiel politely turned away as Gabriel frantically pressed his lips to Sam's.

He didn't turn around again until he heard Sam softly ask Gabriel if he was cold. He heard his brother's soft "yes," in response. He helped Sam find spare blankets before they tucked Gabriel into the couch. Sam sat on the floor beside the couch, holding Gabriel's hand in his.

"You're really warm, love," Sam said softly, laying a hand on Gabriel's forehead.

"I don't feel that great," Gabriel whispered, leaning into the touch.

"Guess you're learning the hard way like Cas did to not run yourself into the ground," Sam said gently. Gabriel nodded a little.

"'S a Novak thing," Gabriel and Castiel said together, making all three of them laugh. Sam managed to coax Gabriel into sleep, and Castiel said a quiet goodbye as he slipped out into the cold and breezy late afternoon.


End file.
